"In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself." – Deepak Chopra
Letting go is one tough thing to do - at least for me. There were a couple of incidents in the last week or so that were quite heartening and taught me valuable lessons in the art of letting go. And most remarkable of all was the fact that these precious lessons were imparted to me by my own kids!
Older A had a rough week. He learnt that someone who he considered his best friend had gone behind his back and taken part in an event, while not speaking about it at all to him. Older A would have liked to join him given a chance but learning about it third-hand was quite heartbreaking. Given his non-confrontational nature, it was an extreme effort on his part to even question his "friend" about it the next day, but we coaxed him to do so and he did. That the other kid refused to budge and retorted in the most unexpected manner is a different story. But what was heartening was how older A let it go. I know that he was extremely disappointed but ended up telling me and his dad that he didn't want to pursue it any further and wanted to let it go. Since he didn't have any control over how others behaved, he would continue being a friend to the other kid and even asked to go for a playdate to a common friend's place, where this other kid was definitely going to be present. What he did was unthinkable for me, given that I have harbored grudges and misgivings for many years in my own life - sometimes for frivolous reasons and at other times for things that I thought meant a lot to me at that point in my life.
Little A learnt last week that one of her friends had passed a test that she had also taken. When I mentioned it to her, she casually said - "Oh, did she?" When I asked what she thought about it, she immediately answered that it was OK - it was her friend's thing and it didn't matter to her. I was astounded. At her age, I could have seen myself moping for weeks, thinking about how I had goofed up and what I could have done better.
No doubt hanging onto failures or what I perceived as failures, has helped me aim higher and pursue goals that I would probably not otherwise have achieved. But in hindsight, after these lessons in letting go, I am realizing that it was most likely unnecessary. Especially those which I had no control over. One can also be motivated and inspired by positive examples and I now believe that letting go enables one to perhaps make more space within oneself to allow more positive thoughts to come in. Especially negative thoughts and memories are a serious drain on one's mental energy. I can look back and see how stressful I had made my life all along, due to the inability to let go.
As Wordsworth said - "The child is the father of the man". I hope that my little ones grow up to be positive, energetic individuals, inspired by higher thoughts and ideals. Little failures and frustrations along the way should not clog their minds so they are not able to focus on the positives in their lives. Letting go of what is not absolutely necessary will allow them to shine as individuals and develop their own unique skills and talents that will set them apart from everyone else.
I realize it is not easy to change deeply engrained habits overnight but I am thankful for this invaluable lesson - I will try to remember how my kids handled these challenges in their young lives and hopefully not fall back to my default way of thinking!
Here's to letting go and flying free!
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need". – Tao Te Ching
Letting go is one tough thing to do - at least for me. There were a couple of incidents in the last week or so that were quite heartening and taught me valuable lessons in the art of letting go. And most remarkable of all was the fact that these precious lessons were imparted to me by my own kids!
Older A had a rough week. He learnt that someone who he considered his best friend had gone behind his back and taken part in an event, while not speaking about it at all to him. Older A would have liked to join him given a chance but learning about it third-hand was quite heartbreaking. Given his non-confrontational nature, it was an extreme effort on his part to even question his "friend" about it the next day, but we coaxed him to do so and he did. That the other kid refused to budge and retorted in the most unexpected manner is a different story. But what was heartening was how older A let it go. I know that he was extremely disappointed but ended up telling me and his dad that he didn't want to pursue it any further and wanted to let it go. Since he didn't have any control over how others behaved, he would continue being a friend to the other kid and even asked to go for a playdate to a common friend's place, where this other kid was definitely going to be present. What he did was unthinkable for me, given that I have harbored grudges and misgivings for many years in my own life - sometimes for frivolous reasons and at other times for things that I thought meant a lot to me at that point in my life.
Little A learnt last week that one of her friends had passed a test that she had also taken. When I mentioned it to her, she casually said - "Oh, did she?" When I asked what she thought about it, she immediately answered that it was OK - it was her friend's thing and it didn't matter to her. I was astounded. At her age, I could have seen myself moping for weeks, thinking about how I had goofed up and what I could have done better.
No doubt hanging onto failures or what I perceived as failures, has helped me aim higher and pursue goals that I would probably not otherwise have achieved. But in hindsight, after these lessons in letting go, I am realizing that it was most likely unnecessary. Especially those which I had no control over. One can also be motivated and inspired by positive examples and I now believe that letting go enables one to perhaps make more space within oneself to allow more positive thoughts to come in. Especially negative thoughts and memories are a serious drain on one's mental energy. I can look back and see how stressful I had made my life all along, due to the inability to let go.
As Wordsworth said - "The child is the father of the man". I hope that my little ones grow up to be positive, energetic individuals, inspired by higher thoughts and ideals. Little failures and frustrations along the way should not clog their minds so they are not able to focus on the positives in their lives. Letting go of what is not absolutely necessary will allow them to shine as individuals and develop their own unique skills and talents that will set them apart from everyone else.
I realize it is not easy to change deeply engrained habits overnight but I am thankful for this invaluable lesson - I will try to remember how my kids handled these challenges in their young lives and hopefully not fall back to my default way of thinking!
Here's to letting go and flying free!
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need". – Tao Te Ching
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